I can hear the constant hum
Of my little space heater
And noisy notifications
From multiple devices
Warning me of flash floods
And dire happenings

And I can hear my roommate
Who over night turned into Nemesis
Moving around his apartment
I can’t hear my heart anymore
If I stop I can feel the beat of my heart
But it’s really just the rush of blood
Traveling too fast through my body

Some days I can almost control the panic
But, this little introvert, lives in a glass house
While Nemesis watches, waiting
For the next dignity to strip away
Until I am completely without spirit
One day soon

I am so very much in love
I used to be his shelter in the storm
Now I am the storm without a calm center
Just one continuous path of destruction
And still he waits for me to slow and stop

And yet if I listen to the hum
Of the space heater with its
Artificial warmth nothing like the sun
And I quiet the fearful thoughts
I can hear the birds sing outside my window

the gift of birdsong
Is all there is
And maybe
all there should be

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