I Must Remember

I want
my life
to be more
than hospitals
and doctors
and nurses
and chemo drips
followed by
antibiotic drips

Outside it is Spring
Inside I monitor
my body
for signs
for omens
for the rustle
of black raven’s wings
for deadly infections

Two days ago
the Moon was heavy
and full
fertile with longing
and need

Tonight
as we walk
exhausted
and empty
out of the
hospital
into
the cold
night air
the moon
is golden
and growing
smaller

I am
overcome
with quiet
bleak
empty
car parks

until a gull
screeches
forlornly
at the Moon

Without thinking
I search
the black skies
for signs
and I shiver
with the cold
shut my eyes
against
too many
tomorrows
against
not enough
tomorrows

and dream
of the feel
of hot sun
on pale skin

It is Spring
outside

I must
remember
that

Day 2 of GloPoWriMo/NaPoWriMo

758657E6-6255-4C66-9825-68310A765016

2 April 2018
Sussex Coast, England

CC56C5B4-8D9E-488C-A453-7390049459CA

Day 2 of 30 poem almost didn’t happen. I spent the day in the hospital with septicaemia (one of the joys of Chemotherapy) and intravenous antibiotics.

5 thoughts on “I Must Remember

    1. Aw, thank you. I didn’t think I was going to make it. I considered writing a three line “throw away” just so I could say I did it but when I started to write, it turned out I had quite a lot of emotion bubbling away under the surface. Thank you again. ❤️

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