Time
beckons
chimes
clangs
against
my memories
against
my heart

while
the sea
throws itself
against the rocks

I practice
breathing
hold myself
back
from the need
of the sea
as it reaches
oblivion
amongst
bleached
rocks
of promises
that
are never met

Still
from seas
far away from you
I hold you
in my heart
and dream of you
of us
of California sunsets

Do you
dream of me?

04 August 2020

‪We are trying to do‬
‪silence‬
‪today‬
‪but I can hear‬
‪traffic‬
‪racing on wet roads‬
‪in the distance‬
‪and the hum‬
‪of the air cleaner‬
‪and my phone‬
‪with its constant reminders‬
‪and my breath‬
‪which is my life‬
‪and if I hold it‬
‪for a minute‬
‪or two‬
‪I can hear ‬
‪my heart‬
‪and him
I can hear him
I can pretend
I hear
his heart too
just before
the silence
slips
under the door.

27 June 2020

The wind is dancing
loud, rhythmic
pressing
against my windows
night twirling
out of control
until the sun breaks
and my world
is filled with
debris
brittle leaves
forgotten bits
of refuse
promises
broken and damaged
unrecognisable

Tomorrow
never comes
but if you stop
and listen
to the night
swirl around you
it ceases to matter

22 February 2020

My body
has turned
tyrant

I have
forgotten

how to listen
how to see

The dawn chorus
used to slip between
the cracks
of my resistance
until hope
became
a beating heart

Now
the silence
is impenetrable

While my body
rants and raves
at the unfairness
at the insistence
that each tiny
movement
each birth
of an idea
must be
accompanied
by pain
by impossibilities

It is 3 am
I am trying
to teach myself
how to listen again
even as my hip
begins to spasm

The birds
will come soon
I’m trying to be ready

23 December 2019
Sussex Coast