Listening for Silence

‪We are trying to do‬
‪silence‬
‪today‬
‪but I can hear‬
‪traffic‬
‪racing on wet roads‬
‪in the distance‬
‪and the hum‬
‪of the air cleaner‬
‪and my phone‬
‪with its constant reminders‬
‪and my breath‬
‪which is my life‬
‪and if I hold it‬
‪for a minute‬
‪or two‬
‪I can hear ‬
‪my heart‬
‪and him
I can hear him
I can pretend
I hear
his heart too
just before
the silence
slips
under the door.

27 June 2020

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Winter Wind

The wind is dancing
loud, rhythmic
pressing
against my windows
night twirling
out of control
until the sun breaks
and my world
is filled with
debris
brittle leaves
forgotten bits
of refuse
promises
broken and damaged
unrecognisable

Tomorrow
never comes
but if you stop
and listen
to the night
swirl around you
it ceases to matter

22 February 2020

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Forgotten

My body
has turned
tyrant

I have
forgotten

how to listen
how to see

The dawn chorus
used to slip between
the cracks
of my resistance
until hope
became
a beating heart

Now
the silence
is impenetrable

While my body
rants and raves
at the unfairness
at the insistence
that each tiny
movement
each birth
of an idea
must be
accompanied
by pain
by impossibilities

It is 3 am
I am trying
to teach myself
how to listen again
even as my hip
begins to spasm

The birds
will come soon
I’m trying to be ready

23 December 2019
Sussex Coast

image
Sunset on the South Downs ~ Photography by me

The Gate

Like a gate that never opens
or one the never closes
or one banging in the wind
squeaking on one rusty hinge

My mind is not mine
just a bit of flotsam
lost to the irrational
forces of nature
or is it nurture?

I listen for your song
on the wind
weather storms
and still silences
hanging
on one rusty hinge.

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