She Lay Waiting

she lay
curled in upon herself
more spiral
than fetal
more sudden stillness
than feral beauty

the forest floor
was damp
with decomposing
birth and death
may-shine slipped
through young
summer leaves
danced across her
naked form
adding light
and shadow
to the streaks of dirt
and blood
painted on her skin
as though
she were nothing
more than a canvass

and so she was

a sleeping
summer
art form

waiting

17 May 2018

Shamrock Forest
Shamrock Forest, Decatur, Georgia

Voyeurs

we are all
voyeurs
of tragedy

until
we have
become
the tragic

flay
strips
of raw
pulsing
skin
off my back
in your search
in your grasping
need
to take
pieces of me

you will have to
hold me down
this time

I will not go
peacefully

I will not
acquiesce demurely

there is nothing
kind
or peaceful
or polite
about tragedy

I am not yours

your prying eyes
and sickly sweet
solicitations
make me reach
for my knives
when my claws
have been rendered
to bloody stumps

we are all
voyeurs
until we
aren’t

17 May 2018

Home

It was
a simple door

Her hand shook
as she reached for the knob
and slowly turned

It was just a door

On the other side
she was a stranger
unknown
unseen
in a sea
of clinking glasses
and a cacophony
of voices
sounding
like an unkindness
of ravens
calling insistently
to nonexistent heavens
and then a soft murmur
of dawning acquiescence

She went
unnoticed
ordered a gin
from a bartender
who never quite
met her eye

And yet
she found
she was home
again

***

door from Stratford-upon-Avon just across the road from the Royal Shakespeare Company

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the night moves: Chemo Poetry

the night moves
in endless liquid
in pools of sweat
and suppressed vomit

and repressed dreams
and not quite forgotten
nightmares
and lucky escapes
and disastrous
adventures
and miraculous
rescues

and death
knocking at my door
and love waiting
at my back

and never ending
vistas
of sublime beauty
that take
my breath away
and take up
too much space
in my fevered brow

the night moves
and never stops
with harsh breaths
and soft
almost silent
heartbeats

and dream
after dream
after dream
baptised
in cold sweat

and living
always
more living

11 May 2018

Dance and Fall: Chemo poetry

They gather around
ghosts
and loves
and stars
and Moon

I try
to dance
with them all
stumble
and fall

They falter
and wait
until I can dance
again

and I do

9 May 2018

Solitary Trek

She makes her solitary trek
to the ocean
like she always has

She no longer
conjures miracles
recites complicated
incantations
prays
for another

She merely watches
begins to count
wave after wave
until the numbers blur
and she forgets
how to count
higher than one

She lets the crazy wind
and turbulent sea
wash over her
again and again
knowing one day
one day soon
she will become one
with all that is
for the last time

Today
she lets it whisper
seduce
cajole
while she pretends
to listen

7 May 2018
Sussex Coast, England

image

the waiting

and when I reach out
to touch something
that is not me

I feel a kind of
numbness
hear a kind of
dull static

that’s how I know
I’m still waiting

for you

5 May 2018
Sussex Coast, England

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