I am feeling very much under the weather today. Recovery from a year of cancer treatment isn’t going well. Bone scan with the ever so precious radioisotopes is happening on Monday. However, Katie is taking care of me. I love my dogs.
Category: Photography
Voice
I have
no voice
lost it, perhaps
or merely
forgotten it
This sickness
has changed me
is changing me
turning me
inside out
No
not like a hurricane
or a quick
tornado
More like
a piece of laundry
left out on the line
in a thunderstorm,
twisted out of shape
In the complicated
process
of freeing myself
I have forgotten
my song
forgotten
to sing
I am still
hanging limply
on the line
practicing
sounds
whispering
words
looking
for my voice
in the midst
of the loud
shrieking
of this illness
And I wonder
if
learning to listen
comes first
A Warm Breath
I falter
a lot
Today
I have been
asking questions
Lots of why questions
Some when questions
Lots and lots
of what now questions
And then I felt myself falter
Yet again
I think sometimes
something
as innocent
as a warm breath
can cause a loss
of balance
Yes
But also
a missed
Heartbeat
And so I falter
and catch myself
without waiting
for that warm breath
or a reason
for my heart to beat
Today
I am a lover
of me.
Winter Again
The wind
is harsh
and cold
bending
barren branches
until
like grasping fingers
they touch
the frozen ground
I hold my breath
not wanting
to breathe
not wanting
to feel
cold
fill up
my lungs
my heart
I have
forgotten
how to bend
how to touch
the ground
with my
grasping
fingers
It is winter
again
Words
Sometimes
the words
come rushing
racing
over troubled terrain
I am speechless
and drowning
in too many
words
Memories
are nothing
like now
I have no words
as I sit
on this fallen log
drawing
symbols
and signs
in the dark
earth
silent incantations
over lips
frozen
with forgotten desire
Alone
and yet
one more voice
in a Greek chorus
of voices
Accidental magic
and mayhem
wandering
among
broken words
looking
desperately seeking
mine
