Voice

I have
no voice

lost it, perhaps

or merely
forgotten it

This sickness
has changed me
is changing me

turning me
inside out

No
not like a hurricane
or a quick
tornado

More like
a piece of laundry
left out on the line
in a thunderstorm,
twisted out of shape

In the complicated
process
of freeing myself
I have forgotten
my song
forgotten
to sing

I am still
hanging limply
on the line
practicing
sounds
whispering
words
looking
for my voice
in the midst
of the loud
shrieking
of this illness

And I wonder
if
learning to listen
comes first

 

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A Warm Breath


I falter
a lot

Today


I have been
asking questions

Lots of why questions
Some when questions
Lots and lots
of what now questions

And then I felt myself falter
Yet again

I think sometimes
something
as innocent
as a warm breath
can cause a loss
of balance

Yes


But also
a missed
Heartbeat

And so I falter
and catch myself
without waiting
for that warm breath
or a reason
for my heart to beat

Today
I am a lover

of me.

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Words

Sometimes
the words
come rushing
racing
over troubled terrain
I am speechless
and drowning
in too many
words

Memories
are nothing
like now
I have no words
as I sit
on this fallen log
drawing
symbols
and signs
in the dark
earth
silent incantations
over lips
frozen
with forgotten desire

Alone
and yet
one more voice
in a Greek chorus
of voices

Accidental magic
and mayhem
wandering
among
broken words
looking
desperately seeking
mine

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