And if
I place my lips
just so
will you sing for me?
25 June 2018
from the English Channel
Tag: chemo poetry
Crossroads
It is summer
and I am ill
falling
fast
I am listening
to the blues
to Robert Johnson
and wondering
about crossroads
and old roads
and intersecting paths
and the old ways
chants heard
in lush green leaves
prayers
and blessings
witchcraft
It is summer
and I am surrounded
by roses
and lavender
and geraniums
and hanging baskets
with unknown flowers
cascading
over the sides
like a floral invocation
to unnamed goddesses
everywhere
The wind
blows
in the afternoon
It no longer
plays havoc
with my curls
They’re gone away now
wherever it is
illness takes them
At night the air stills
stars sparkle
and glitter
like you once said
my eyes did
It is summer
and I am surviving
loss
and renewal
and relentless sickness
and time
in all its
temporary majesty
20 June 2018
on the Sussex Coast
the fragility of summer
the night moves: Chemo Poetry
the night moves
in endless liquid
in pools of sweat
and suppressed vomit
and repressed dreams
and not quite forgotten
nightmares
and lucky escapes
and disastrous
adventures
and miraculous
rescues
and death
knocking at my door
and love waiting
at my back
and never ending
vistas
of sublime beauty
that take
my breath away
and take up
too much space
in my fevered brow
the night moves
and never stops
with harsh breaths
and soft
almost silent
heartbeats
and dream
after dream
after dream
baptised
in cold sweat
and living
always
more living
11 May 2018
Dance and Fall: Chemo poetry
They gather around
ghosts
and loves
and stars
and Moon
I try
to dance
with them all
stumble
and fall
They falter
and wait
until I can dance
again
and I do
9 May 2018
Tiny Atomic Explosions of Love: chemo poetry
There are days
when the sickness
is so great
I think
it cannot
be borne
And yet it is
one breath
at a time
one doggie
cuddle
at a time
And when
the face
in the mirror
shows how
clearly
my body
is ravaged
with sickness
and disease
and I break
down
into sobs
that shake
the very
essence of me
He is there
never far
to hold me
until I can let go
and hold
onto myself
again
I think
that must be
what love is
Knowing when
to hold on tight
and when to let go
It is
a sickness
that can’t
be borne
but it is
through
great
and small
acts of love
and mercy
