I married a man

I married a man
sixteen years ago


One day I left him

He let me go
and waited
and rescued me
over and over again

I’m dying
or fighting death
with more death

And I wonder
about Love
and constancy
and patient

I told a few people
who remember me
that sometimes
I think the true healers
are those
who can hold our hand
in silence

I’m tired
I’m tired a lot now

But there is a man
who never lets go
of my hand

And there’s a kind of
magic in that




Another Word for Love

They say
that cancer
of the breast
is a path

you walk

The truth is
will ever
be the same

ever is

It would be easy
to look at it
as just another
to be solved
but there is
no solution

There is

It keeps you alive
a little longer

It isn’t a cure

there is no cure
for death

The truth is
we are always
walking towards

Cancer is
a not very silent
reminding us
the end of our path
is near

And so
all those things
we put off

Healthy foods,
exercise for the body,
solace for the mind
becomes a need
not a choice

And then
there are days
like today

Where I sit
on my old
beat up sofa
looking out
the window
at a gray English
winter day
with a bright red amaryllis
blooming her heart out

While my mind
catalogs memories
happy ones
forgotten ones
curious ones

but no sad ones
no angry resentful ones

They haven’t
been invited
to this party

With the pain
my mind tumbles
in slow motion

I remember
the smell
of a vegetarian quiche
and the smile
on my little boy’s face
and the feeling of pride
in my fatigued heart

and love

I remember love

This path
of the woman
with half a breast
is always moving
in the direction
of love

There is fear
and pain
and isolation
but always
the mind and heart
join forces
turning my face
in the direction
of love

This cancer of the breast
is just another word
for love.




Seasons or Is That What Love Is?


Today I find myself wondering
Do we change with the seasons?
When we don all those extra layers
do we wrap layers around our hearts?

Today I rushed outside at the sight of the sun
Forgetting my coat, my gloves, my scarf.
For a moment I paused, almost turned
But instead found myself shivering
Watching a squirrel scamper down a tree
While a tiny bird chattered it’s good morning to me
And I couldn’t bear to miss any of it.

Is that what love is?
Being willing to shiver a bit…
All for the sake of not missing any of it?


Astrology and Tragedy in Current Events …and a Bit About Love

Pandora releases the evils of the world and discovers the Spirit of Hope.

Hi Dear Ones,
There has been a lot written about the tragedy that took place in a cinema in the town of Aurora, Colorado a few days ago. As an astrologer, or student of astrology, events, all events, can be a good way to understand how planetary energies manifest. However, if we are not careful we can forget that we are looking at people’s lives. Someone’s daughter, son, brother, sister, father, mother, lover, best friend, etc.

So I would caution against unwittingly using astrology to romanticize the more horrific aspects of our current society or to use it as just another form of voyeurism. It is natural to want to seek an answer, to look for some kind of understanding. I said on Facebook a few days ago: In my experience simple answers are not only rare, but often deceptive. I continue to stand by that statement.

So rather than write more on this subject, I am going to provide you with two links that I highly recommend.

The first is from Donna Cunningham’s blog. She is an astrologer I would trust with my life, let alone my blog. She has not done an interpretation but has provided us with the astrological information and an opportunity to contribute to a discussion in her comments section. That link can be found here: Skywriter: James Holmes Date of Birth Revealed

However, my favorite post on this event was written by Matthew Currie on AstrologyDating.com. You can find the link here: Why Did This Happen? James Holmes, Mass Murderer

I especially love this paragraph:

I suppose we could cobble together a narrative about how his repressed smoldering temper (Mars/Pluto) and probable parental issues (Sun square Moon) resulted in extreme violence (the Uranus-Pluto square). But you know as well as i do that LOTS of people have bad transits… in fact, several thousand humans share a birthday with James Holmes.

In fact, as an astrologer, my eyes were first drawn to the Pluto Mars conjunction in Scorpio with a Sadge Sun/stellium. And then I remembered I have a Sadge Sun (just two degrees from James Holmes) with a Pluto Mars opposition. I have never had the slightest urge to call myself the Joker and plan a massacre of my fellow humans… not even while Pluto was transiting my Scorpio Moon. So, yes, by all means, study his chart and the transit chart. Use this opportunity to explore the archetypes involved, but do not expect to find a definitive answer. I would also beseech you to guard against letting any answers you might uncover limit your capacity for compassion. Sometimes evil just happens.

I am sure I do not have to remind those of you who may be tempted to assume all Sagittarians are mass murderers, just waiting for the right opportunity, that a Sun Sign does not a man or woman make. I am equally sure you have not forgotten the concept of Free Will. However, if we do need to discuss those topics further, please let me know and I will add them to my future blog post topics.

For purely academic and intellectual purposes there is also a very interesting article posted by The Astrology Research Journal entitled: Frequencies of Various Aspects in the Horoscopes of Murderers and Serial Killers vs. Those of Randomly Generated Control Groups. It can be found here: Astrology Research Journal Archives/article82702_1/

For those of you looking for a BiWheel showing the birth chart (remembering that we do not know his time of birth so I have used a Solar Chart with his Sun on the ASC) in the inner wheel and the chart of the time of the shooting in the outer wheel, I include one here:

James Holmes with Batman Cinema Shooting Transits

And finally, how do we make sense of tragedy in our lives? Those that know me well, know I have experienced my fair share. I wish I had an easy answer.

You know what’s coming. It’s the same thing I always say: Love. Love, an open heart, forgiveness, right action, being the best person you can be, hope…

Honestly? I don’t know if LOVE can change the world, if it can fight evil or oppression. However, I think it’s well worth the effort. What I do know is that it will change you.

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. ~ Eric Fromm

Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. ~Christopher Reeve

Our Dance With Gemini: Talking, Seeing, Listening, Loving

Gemini Twins

Today in the midst of weirdness I realized I wanted to write a post, as I hadn’t written one in awhile. Ever since I decided to semi-retire, my work load has increased considerably. So I’ve had to rethink that decision and am now back to working as a full time astrologer, which I am happy to say feels wonderful. In addition to work, there seem to be so many distractions in our world. Distractions: four planets and one half of the lunar nodal axis in Gemini. Gemini likes distractions. In fact, Gemini is the master of distractions. Remember he is also the trickster of the zodiac. There is much to be learned from these distractions and I must warn you not all of it feels nice.

I’m not going to write much about tomorrow’s new moon because so many other astrology bloggers have that covered. I will say, however, that I have seen a lot of posts about the romance of the coming new moon, the opportunity to find your true love, making it sound like another celebration of Valentine’s Day. I would caution against underestimating the power and reach of Venus or Mercury and certainly Luna. Each one of the celestial bodies are involved in this dance, as well as the Sun, as they are all in the sign of Gemini which is ruled by Mercury. There are other complicating factors (not least of all, the Quincunx of Pluto to Venus), as well, but for the moment let’s just stick with these actors in our play.

There has been a lot of cosmic focus on our relationships of late. I don’t think anyone can really argue with that unless they’ve managed to successfully bury their heads in the sand. I’m not just referring to relationships with lovers and partners in life, but all our relationships across the board, including our relationship with ourselves and our values and our value. A lot is being asked of us, but then if you look around, you will see a lot is needed.

There is a word that has been cropping up in my thinking for many, many months now. That word is Integrity. Today I discovered that along with Integrity are the words Humility and Discernment. Frankly Humility and Discernment aren’t usually thought of in reference to Gemini and very rarely, if ever, in reference to my sun sign, Sagittarius.

Today I learned a very important lesson and lost a friend at the same time, a friendship that I valued greatly. Remember when I mentioned the lessons to be learned in being too easily distracted? I speak from experience. Our words possess so much power. It is easy to get distracted and forget that. Of all the signs, Gemini is the one most attuned to our words. However, Gemini wants to quickly get them back out there again. Gemini collects and disseminates data. There is, however, more to Gemini than the role of chatterbox of the Zodiac. Geminis perceive the world around them and try to make sense of it. In fact, Geminis want to see and experience everything there is in the world. As that is clearly impossible, they try to garner that missing data much like a journalist does. They ask questions. However, that only works well if they pause to listen.

Those of you who follow my Facebook and Twitter feeds know I have been posting a lot about remembering to listen during this fantastic, playful Gemini dance we’re being given. We all have stories to tell and just so many words dying to get out. Today I was so busy trying to be cute and funny (which I do occasionally excel at [see Sadge smile]) that I forgot to discern the effect my words might have on my listener.  In effect, it was just a bit of automatic (i.e. unconscious) banter while my mind was occupied elsewhere. In fact, I had already decided how my listener would respond which is a rather annoying aspect of the Gemini energy. They are so sure they know what you are going to say next that they stop listening and become distracted by the colour of your eyes or in this case, as I was emailing from my phone, messages coming in from Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or what I was going to eat for breakfast 🙂 In fact, it was something I would have said 20 years ago to my Lit Professor. The same Lit Professor that still makes my heart beat a little faster when I think of him. The thing is, I wasn’t talking to an old flame and it is not the 1980s.

This is a more personal post than I normally do. Frankly, I was so surprised and disappointed by it’s outcome, and also humbled beyond measure, that I thought I might give you the benefit of my experience. Instead of talking about communication with integrity and discernment and humility, I would give you myself as an example. In the aftermath, I asked the question I always ask: Why? Which forced me to raise my head above the personal stressors that have been demanding so much of my attention and energy of late. It also gave me a clear archetypal view of the sign: Gemini. I used to have a friend that said this repeatedly: “Astrology is an elegant language.”  And so it is.

So, this is my Truth: Any story that is wanting to be told, that is worth being told, along with the person we respect enough to tell our story to, deserves our complete attention… our conscious attention. Equally important is to make sure the person you are telling your story to deserves your gift and is in a place where he or she is capable of receiving it, because it is truly a gift and not to be squandered.

Some useful definitions I discovered on Wikipedia:

Discernment is a term used to describe the activity of determining the value and quality of a certain subject or event. Typically, it is used to describe the activity of going past the mere perception of something, to making detailed judgements about that thing. As a virtue, a discerning individual is considered to possess wisdom, and be of good judgement.

Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one’s actions.

Humility is the quality of being modest and respectful. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of egolessness. Or as Isabel Hickey said in Astrology: A Cosmic Science, “The willingness to be the least.”

When I started this blog post, I started by talking about the planetary focus on relationships. You may by now think I have wandered off a bit. However, remember Venus is in the sign of Gemini. Venus in Gemini is airy, flirty, jokey, a bit of a tease and fun, if easily bored. However, they can be quite emotionally distant and lacking in any sentimentality whatsoever. They also try to make sense of whatever or whoever is in front of them and on occasion slip out the back door when things get too intense. With our second new moon in Gemini coming up, I can’t help but think we are being asked to seriously look at our relationships with ourselves and with others and communicate what we see consciously. I fervently believe that out of these talks with ourselves, our lovers, our partners, our families, our friends not only what we want, what we value, but what value we place on ourselves, will be made clear to us. And, yes, some of us will find the love of our lives, some of us will discover that we’ve been wasting our time on the wrong person, the wrong life and some of us will discover that no one will ever love us the way we would wish until we are able to love ourselves fully.

As always, below you will find a chart for tomorrow’s New Moon and some quotes….


It’s no use talking unless people understand what you say.
Zora Neale Hurston

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
― Anaïs Nin